What I Learned From....

What I learned from....Laughing at myself

    Okay so enough of the heaviness and deep reflection.  I wanted to share a brief story from this past week.  On Monday night June 16 my Mother passed away quietly in her home.  We knew it was imminent and arrangements had already  been put in place, so we called the hospice nurse and she came right over and confirmed it then called the funeral home to have mom removed.  So the two men came from the funeral home and were very respectful and kind in their treatment of her and our family.  Then as they were paused in the living room letting the grand kids have their goodbyes, we remembered that mom did not have her teeth in so I went to the bathroom and grabbed the little container from the back of the toilet tank and gave it to them to take with them. 

    Lesli and I went home and finally got a couple hours of sleep before going back over to Dad's to check on him and begin the preparations that were needed.  When we got there dad said he and my sister had been trying to find his partial denture plate. Yep you guessed it I gave the morticians Dad's teeth not Mom's.  Then to make it even more embarrassing  When I called the  funeral home and told them what I did their reply was an incredulous, "You did what?"  Dad got a kick out of and so did everyone else, despite, or maybe because of the circumstances

What I learned from....So many people this past week

    As I stated in my last post that my mother was nearing the end she succumbed and passed away on Monday night.  While I miss her terribly I have received so much this week that I hardly know where to begin.

    I have witnessed so many acts of kindness and service.  About a week prior to her passing, my mother began receiving hospice care.  These kind strangers came into her home daily and made sure that she was comfortable and getting the medical care that she needed. Then it was them who came and rendered their last act of kindness to prepare her for removal. Thank you all for for your loving kindness to my sweet mother.

    As the week progressed people came from all over to help in one way or another some brought food, some brought flowers or other gifts, and some helped just by bringing memories and friendship.  Then as we left the chapel on our way to the cemetery when we got to the first major intersection, two police cars were coming from the other direction, and they spontaneously leapfrogged and setup roadblocks for most of the trip.

    After so many years of mom serving others it was a privilege to serve her during her last days, and I want to express my sincere gratitude for all those who so unselfishly served myself and my family.  Thank you all and may God bless you for your works.

What I Learned from.....Death

    This year has seen it's share of personal loss in the form of family members and family of friends passing away. It has caused some serious reflections on my part.

    Two years ago my mother-in-law had surgery that ended up putting her in a coma for several days and we thought we were going to lose her.  Previous to this time she and her parents had not spoken for over thirty years.  Various things had been said and done and feelings were hurt and time just slipped away.  When Lesli told her Grandmother the situation she told Lesli to tell her Carole that she loved her.  After Carole's recovery they all reconciled and continue to speak every day.  Earlier this year Carole's father Lloyd passed away, before he died they were able to tell each other that they loved each other.

    One of my good friends recently lost his mother. After a period of estrangement they were able to put that behind them.  I know this was a relief to my friend to shed those hard feelings.

    About 15 years ago I moved my family back to Billings to be close to my parents.  I wanted my children to really get to know their grandparents and have a close relationship with them.  I also knew that they were advancing in years and would soon be in need of assistance.  My girls have all developed wonderful relationships with my parents.  Now my mother is in the waning stages of heart failure and the family is struggling to come to terms with losing our beloved matriarch.  The point I am trying to make is that we need to live and enjoy our families so that there are no regrets.  Cherish all the precious time you have and don't waste any of it with petty disagreements. As her health and strength has ebbed mom has repeatedly stated that she must have done something right because her family has rallied to help her and dad out.

    Please don't lose anymore time with petty disagreements, make the most of what time you have because that time is finite, treasure it.

What I learned from....My Mother

    I know it may seem cliche to do a blog about my mother on Mothers Day but I can't think of a better way to honor her.  I previously blogged about her selflessness, but that just barely scratches the surface. From as early as I can remember my mom was a registered nurse.  She chose to work nights because she could be home with her family in the evenings.  I know it was hard on her to not be there to wake us up for school and get us breakfast, but if it meant she was there when we got home from school and could have dinner with us then it was worth it.  She worked for years on the oncology floor at Deaconess hospital, and despite seeing so much suffering and unpleasantness, the only things she would share with us, her family, were the positive things like great patients or family of patients who would thank them for their care.  I can honestly say that I never once heard my mom complain about having to work nights or about her workload, she would instead talk about the friends she enjoyed working with.

    I came along later in moms life after she had assumed she was done with her family, but instead of being labeled as "unplanned", or a "mistake", she always called me her "bonus baby".  I am five years younger  than my next oldest sibling, my brother.  Mom has always been a diminutive woman and when she found herself craning her neck back to look up at her six foot three inch "baby" she said it was lucky that I was so good natured, but it wasn't just good nature, I so respected and loved her that I couldn't bear the thought of hurting or disappointing her.

    I can honestly say that if I am any measure of a man it is because of my parents who taught me right and wrong. So mom here my thank you for all you have done, it has not gone unnoticed by your family or those whom you have come in contact with.  You have touched countless lives and you continue to do so.I love you and honor you. HAPPY MOTHERS DAY, your baby David.

What I learned from....My Good Friends Chris and Tony

    Sorry I missed a week but I just let time slip away.  My friends Chris and Tony came to know each other when they were each married to other people.  Unfortunately their marriages both ended. At first they spent time together because they were lonely, no thought or plan end up together, but they did.  They have been together for almost 15 years now, while they could both be bitter about what happened to them, but I have heard them both say that they wouldn't change anything because of where it has led them to today. Kind of like the country song "God Bless the broken road", that led me straight to you.
    I appreciate my friendship with Tony alot, over the years  I haven't spent much time with any other guys, I just kind of became a loner.  Tony and I just have alot in common and I find it comfortable to hang out.

    Anyway, thanks guys for showing me that regrets are fruitless and to just move on and be happy with where you are.

What I learned from.........my daughter Brittanny

    We have probably all heard stories of selfish, self absorbed teens.  The typical "It's all about me" type.  Brittanny is quite a contrast to this model. Although she and her sisters had their disagreements and arguments when they were younger Brittanny enjoyed doing things for them.  As Sara, her next older sister, approached her 16th birthday Brittanny planned a Hawaiian themed birthday party for her and even purchased all of the favors and decorations for it from her own money.

    When Lesli and I figured that our girls were too old to do the whole Easter bunny/ Easter basket thing, she again took it on herself to buy the plastic eggs and trinkets/treats and hold an egg hunt for her two older sisters.

    Keep in mind that Brittanny is just now only 20 years old.  Several years ago she took her evenings and spent them on the streets with friends to raise awareness for homeless and displaced youths.  As well as giving her time she later signed up to sponsor a 3rd world child and actually had money withdrawn from her account on a monthly basis.

    Never once in all of these incidents did Brittanny ask for any recognition for her actions, they were done purely because she thought they were the right thing to do.

    May we all try to make the world better just by being in it, I am proud to be her father.

What else I've learned from....Lesli

    I'm sure we all know some one who is falsely modest, and those who are genuinely modest.  Then there are those who may appear modest but are actually so insecure they truly don't see how talented and exceptional they are. 

    This is the category my beautiful wife falls into.  Previously I alluded to her youth and the obstacles she had to overcome.  She has done a marvelous job of breaking the "cycle" of abuse.  Lesli adored by her daughters and grandkids, and our daughter Tiel is a wonderful mother and step mother following her mother's example.

    In Lesli's family between her parents and brothers(2) and sister, there are probably twenty plus marriages and nearly as many divorces.  This June Lesli and I will celebrate twenty five years together, yet success she has achieved.

    In less than seven years she has risen to lead her department at work where she is called on constantly to make sure that they are in compliance with FDA regulations.  She has had to turn down promotions and opportunities several times because they would have taken her away from home and familie.  Those who she works for continually recognize her worth and talents that they want to utilize her here, in Cheyenne or Casper WY, and even @ corporate offices in Phoenix.

    Finally Lesli decided that she wanted to have some fun and see what she could accomplish with her blog.  In one short month she was able to rise to the top 100 and even top 50 on another scrapbooking rating service.  She has had visitors from over 50 countries and over 10,000 hits.

    These are just a few examples of how successful, talented, and even beautiful she is , but she doesn't see it in herself, so please help me in enlightening her and letting her know that she is a special and talented and exceptional person.  Stop by her blog and giver her the love and recognition she deserves

What I learned from ....Dionne Roberts

EDITED:  Here is a picture of Dad with his new gift - he loved it!

I thought I might do a little shameless self promotion this week.  I have talked for years about learning to do stained glass so this year for Christmas my wonderful wife decided to make me put up or shut up.  She visited a local art glass studio/store here in Billings called D & J's Glassworks - Stained Glass in Billings, Montana owned and operated by Dionne Roberts, where she bought tools and supplies to get me started in this new hobby/craft.

  Lesli also arranged for me to visit the shop and receive instructions.  Dionne was wonderful.  She pulled glass from her stock and gave me directions in cutting and foiling then sent a couple more sheets of glass home with me to practice cutting and breaking.  Her big advice at that time was "don't do your entry door side light as your first project."

    I took my time picking a pattern for my first project but weeks later when I returned to get other supplies Dionne asked me how I had done.  I told her that I could look at my piece with a critical eye and see my mistakes.  So she asked what my mistakes were.  I said I could have spent more time fitting some of the pieces and that I did not get the foil on evenly on all of the pieces.  So she showed me a wonderful tool called a table foiler, that she said she would give up her glass saw before her foiler.

    My dad has had two pieces of "brazilian agate" that he has wanted made into a butterfly for probably thirty years.  So I offered to try for him.  I struggled for weeks to come up with an acceptable pattern because the finished piece would be only about 13 inches in diameter, and the butterfly wings would dominate most of that.  Again I visited Dionne and she sketched out a beautiful design in a matter of minutes.  I took it home that weekend and spent probably about 8 hours cutting, fitting, and soldering it together, but for only my second project I am pleased with the end result.  I can still see my mistakes but there are fewer of them and they are less visible.  I hope you like the end result because I do.

What I learned from....?

        Okay so nothing deep and meaningful this time.  I have thought about this and really can't decide where I get my sense of humor from.  I do believe that it is one of my defining qualities though.

        My mom likes to tell the story that when I was younger she could tell when I was up to some trick because I would come up the stairs giggling.  I don't remember it myself. 

        I do enjoy practical joking, and that is one way that I learned patience, because the setup has to be done just right to make it work.  Recently one of my co-workers decided to prank me and when I got to work he had taken my notebook and desk calendar and stapled them closed.  He was so proud of himself he was trying all day to get me to comment on it.  Instead, that evening when he left I took his notebook out in the shop and drilled it and bolted it closed.  Next morning I told him not escalate because I will win.

        When I was on my mission I had a reputation as a joker.  On one occasion the apartment I was in had four of us living there.  The bedroom at the other end of the hall from mine had a utility closet just outside their bedroom door.  I figured out how to tie the two door knobs together then lit a smoke bomb and threw it in the room and pulled the closet door closed effectively locking their door shut.  They were forced to climb out the window to escape.

        I hope that my practical jokes remain appropriate and not at all malicious.  My girls have picked up some of this behavior but especially Brittanny.  One time in the early nineties as we drove back to the heights Lesli was cold so she pulled her arms into her jacket.  Brittanny, sitting behind her grabbed both sleeves of her coat and tied them behind her seat.  Lesli was calling for my help but between having to drive and laughing so hard I couldn't do a thing for her.  I was so proud of Brittanny for coming up with such an original prank.

        Laugh at yourself and laugh with others but don't be mean.  If you are going to dish be ready to receive too.

What I learned from....My daughter Brittanny

        Well this will officially close out my immediate family, but I guarantee there will be repeats.  My daughter Brittanny is such a brave young woman, she truly amazes me.

        Brittanny decided to move to Seattle last year because she wanted to try living on her own.  She picked up and moved with no job and no real prospects.  She did have a place to live and a roommate but that was all.  She spent some time looking and tried a few jobs but she soon landed a job where her talents and abilities are rewarded and appreciated.  When she tried to quit a few months ago they asked her to come back and gave her a promotion and a raise.

        Now she has even moved out on her own, no roommate.  Even though I know she misses her family and especially her grandparents she has decided to really give independence a real try.  We are still awaiting pictures of the new place, but it is in downtown Seattle, within walking distance of Pikes Market and about a mile from the Space Needle.

        I remember how much I struggled being away from home when I first left on my mission, but she has managed this big move on her own.  What a truly brave and inspiring young woman. I am proud of her and even though I miss her terribly I know she is where she needs to be at this time.